A day late and a dollar short

But there's a reason for it. I couldn't really post this before I had watched the show.

Last night, Myles and I sat down and watched the 102 Minutes show on the History Channel. I thought it would be interesting to watch and see footage from a non-news aspect. Wow, it gave me a whole new perspective on things.

I know a lot of people compare the attacks of 9/11 to that of Pearl Harbor. I wholeheartedly do NOT agree. The 9/11 attacks were MUCH worse. When Pearl Harbor happened, they attacked a military post with military people, people who signed up for a job, knowing there was risk such as that attached to said job. It was also a time of war (Yes, I know, we weren't in the war yet, but it was inevitable and everyone pretty much knew it at the time). 9/11 was none of those things. It was during peacetime and it was to everyday, innocent people. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that the people at Pearl Harbor weren't innocent, but I think you know what I mean. The people who lost their lives during 9/11 were non-military people.

Watching that show last night really made me think more about 9/11 and what the people were going through, and I don't think the news has ever really shown that aspect of it. These were people on the streets as it happened, regular people, who were there as it all went down. You are seeing peoples' reactions as the events happened, in real time. You are feeling their panic and terror, and I had a hard time keeping myself from tearing up as I watched part of it.

In one part there are two college girls taping it from their apartment window, before the second plane struck, and one of them notices "things" that are falling faster than the other debris, and she is hit with the epiphany that those are people. In this footage, you can see the people jumping and freefalling, you can see the people on the top floors, above the impact area and fire, hanging flags out the window, leaning out of their broken windows and yelling for help. And you know, these people you are watching, they're all dead now. None of them lived through the collapse.

I think what got to me the most was the reactions and the expressions on the firemens' faces. Many of them are walking toward the building resolutely, scared shitless, some with tears in their eyes, but they are still going willingly. That is such bravery and courage, and I have even more respect for them than I had before, and my respect for them has always been very high up there. You can see the reactions of the firemen as people who have jumped or fallen land on the ground in front of them. And you can see how dazed, confused and utterly helpless they are after the collapses. You can see that they simply didn't know what to do at that point.

I know a lot of people don't like to hear things like what I've said, and they choose not to pay attention to that, but it's important we never forget. This was one of the worst days in the history of our country. Hell, it should be a national holiday like Labor Day and Memorial Day.

And people need to think of the many other American lives that have been lost since then, of our men and women fighting in the middle east, who were dragged into this mess. And yes, it's a mess. I may support our troops, especially since my brother is over there fighting in the Army right now, but the reason we got into this war in the first place has not been dealt with. We should be looking for Bin Laden, he should be dead already. Instead, we went over there because the president wanted to settle Daddy's old score. Saddam is NOT who commited the atrocious acts of 9/11, and the people who did are still out there, still hating America, still planning other ways to "get" us.

I know a lot of people don't agree with what I may have said, and that's okay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and this is mine. It's something I feel strongly about. Like I said, it's okay if you don't agree with me. And no, I don't believe 9/11 was a conspiracy...that is just an absolutely ridiculous notion and has been disproven time and time and time again.

My Bridal Shower...

Was absolutely phenomenal. Misty and my mom are awesome! =) The first thing I saw was the cake when Misty came over with everything early yesterday morning. Oh. My. God. And as you can see, not just one cake, but two. =) A pink elephant in a wedding dress, complete with tiara and veil, and a wedding shoe cake. =) And she even tried to make the dress look like my wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses with the ruffles on them. She's so awesome. =) She always outdoes herself with the cakes she makes, so I was super curious as to what she was going to do for this, and she, once again, outdid herself and made a cake that was absolutely perfect for me. =) And actually, she told me she can't even take the credit for the cake design, it was her husband (one of our best friends, David) and her daughter, Grace's idea. They know me well, too. It's really great and such a blessing to have such close friends who know you that well.

As most of you probably read in my blog yesterday, right before my mom and dad and Matthew got there, I was banished to the upstairs to sit in my office while everything was being done downstairs. (Hey, I actually got quite a bit of editing done in that two hours. lol) After my parents and Matt got there, my dad and Matt and Grace were going to run out to Meijer to pick up some forgotten supplies. I actually got out of my office for a bit to have something more to do...and let me tell you, going downstairs with your eyes closed with your ten-year-old brother leading you isn't the most fun...especially in a pair of my signature three-inch heels. Hahah. I cheated and peeked, but I shielded my eyes and only looked at the steps. I didn't want to ruin the surprise that my mom and Misty were working on so hard for me. But then, I was finally able to come down and look at like 12:45, fifteen minutes before people were to start arriving. =P And that was partially because I sat on the top step, where I couldn't see anything and kept asking if they were done yet. LOL They wouldn't let me come down until they were ready with cameras, since they wanted to get my reaction. =)

This is me abolsutely loving the little high heels and purses they put on the table to hold candies. =) And the kicker of the candies in the high heels is that they were white chocolate high heels that Misty made. Perfect! They basically took all of my favorite things and that was the theme of the shower: black, white, pink, calla lillies, high heels, purses, elephants, ice cream, lip gloss and a few others things. Everything in the favor/gift bags was something that is one of my favorite things. Little wooden elephants, little ice cream cone-shaped bubbles, little lip sticks and high heels with bath gel in them, little blocks of Post-Its (I'm a Post It FREAK), blank note/Thank-you cards with elephants on them, my favorite candy bars (Rolos and Hershey Cookies N Cream bars. No Mr. Goodbars since Misty is allergic to peanuts), little candles in the shape of ice cream sundaes, glass coasters with calla lillies etched on them....it was perfect. And my favorite types of food, too. Mexican, Italian, and hick. LOL The hick part is the little mini pigs in a blanket. Hahaha. Taco dip, bruschetta made with yummy frency bread, homemade cinnamon tortilla chips with fruit salsa, and a BIG bowl of homemade sangria. Everything was perfect. I had a really great time. And afterward, my mom, dad, Myles, David, Misty and I went out to dinner at Texas Roadhouse (bloody steak, my fave!) and then to our favorite bar...well, everyone except My's. He's not so big on it, but he is wonderful enough to put up with it sometimes for me. =) And no, dinner and the bar weren't for me. It was to celebrate Mom's b-day on Sept 5 and Dad getting his MBA a few weeks ago. =)

Here's a couple of extra pics from the shower. I don't have everyone's pics yet, but I'm sure I will in the next couple of weeks and I'll post some good ones as I get them.

This one has me eating and making some sort of funny Tera face, but it has a really good view of the table stuffs. =)

By the way, the awesome picture of my cats...my dad drew that. =) He's a phenomenal artist. And I'm sitting in my throne, cheesin' at something or someone.

The three littlest ones who weren't participating, but sitting in the living room playing and watching cartoons, saw a few people come out to do the toilet paper wedding dress game and were so fascinated they wanted to do it do. All under the age of six. =)

And this one is of me and my practice bouquet....something I never even knew about until yesterday. I'm telling you, I'm pretty green regarding this whole wedding thing. =-P

So today....

Is my bridal shower. Right now I'm sitting upstairs in my office with my neice Grace while her mom, Misty, is downstairs cooking and getting everything ready for when people start to arrive in a couple of hours.

She brought a bunch of the stuff over last night and helped me rearrange the house and get it back together after having the carpets cleaned and was showing me the stuff she put in the gift bags. =) Everyone is going to be getting things I like... all of my favorite things. =) Bubbles in the shape of high heels and lip sticks (since lip gloss stuff is hard to find, lol), little wooden elephants, some Ariel from the Little Mermaid stuff (since there will be kids here and the Little Mermaid is my FAVE Disney movie), my favorite candy bars, glass coasters with calla lillies on them...and the list goes on. It's so neat and it's so perfect. There is no theme other than "Tera". LOL She even has done everything in my favorite colors, black, white and pink.

This morning, she showed me the special surprise that she had set up...a scrapbook recipe book. She get recipes from all the family members on Myles's side and my family and friends will be contributing theirs today. Each family member has a page with their name on it and my favorite recipes. When I looked through it, I cried. It was really touching. Even though Myles's grandmothers have both passed, they even have pages in there. Wow.

This all feels so surreal. Myles and I have been together for four and a half years now, and we've been engaged for over two of them. It's like the wedding and all this has been such a long time coming that now that it's finally here, it still isn't quite real yet. It's amazing and wonderful. I'm so excited about everything and I can't wait to see what else Misty has in store for today.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the cake. Er, cakes. She made two. One is a wedding shoe, since, well, duh. LOL And the other is a pink elephant in a wedding dress with a tiara and a veil!! Oh my God, it's awesome. I'll be sure to post pics of everything. =)

Thankful

I was doing some pondering on my drive to work this morning. I've noticed that a lot of times many of us think about what we wish we could have instead of being thankfful what we already have and taking it for granted. I've got so many things in my life to be thankful for, so many people I've been blessed with having in my life.



Myles - He is my everything. He's the greatest guy anyone could ever ask for. He may not be the most romantic, lol, but he shows his love in so many other ways. He concentrates a lot on our future and things like saving money for things like college for our future children. He works really hard for us, with his job and the rental properties, and I hope he knows how much I appreciate that. He supports me in everything I do...my editing, my writing, and anything else I decide I want to do. =) Without him, I wouldn't be where I am today, no doubt about it. He's so smart (even though he doesn't give himself enough credit for it) and he's just awesome. On top of being my almost-husband, he's my best friend, hands down.



My family - A girl couldn't ask for a better family. No way, no how. I have THE best mom and dad ever. Hands down. My parents aren't just my parents, they're two of my best friends. I love spending time with them and they mean the world to me. I have the best little brother anyone could ask for, too. Matt is THE greatest kid ever. He's so smart and funny, and I love seeing how much like me he is at times. It's really night. And my other brother, Doug. He can be the hugest pain in the ass at times, but when he tries and when he wants to be, he's a really good person. If only we could get him to grow up a little bit...



Misty - What can I say about her? She's phenomenal. Last night I got to thinking about everything has done and is doing for the wedding and my bridal shower and the scheming we have done for my bachelorette party, and I teared up. She seriously knows me so well, it's creepy. She's shown me and told me about a lot of the stuff she is doing for the bridal shower, and it's amazing. The whole thing is revolved around me. Completely and totally. From my favorite colors, to my favorite types of food, down to all of my favorite things. She's ALWAYS there for me and has been from day one. I can honestly say that she will be my bestest friend until the day I die. She is absolutely amazing and anyone with her in their life is blessed. I only wish I was resourceful and "smart" enough to be able to do for her all that she has done for me, but dammit, I'm just not as good as her. lol



My house - It sounds stupid, but a lot of people barely have a roof over their heads, and Myles found us a beautiful home to live in that we never have to leave if we decide we don't want to. I know Myles and I have dreams of a place a little out in the country on some land, but if we never moved, I would be more than happy. The house is big enough for us and the kids we'd like to have, and it has a great backyard with awesome neighbors. What more could anyone ask for?

All the "stuff" I have = It's another thing that sounds stupid, but there are so many people who don't have their own library at home, or a closetful of clothes. Yes, a lot of what I have is necessities, but there are so many people who don't have that.

I think one of the main things I've been doing this morning is thinking about all of the things and people I am fortunate enough to have in my life that other people may never have. I really am a blessed person, and I don't stop and say "thank you" enough to the powers that be for giving me all that I have.

My best friend's wedding

Unlike Julia Robert's, my best friend's wedding was awesome for me. =)

I left work a couple a of hours early on Friday so that Misty, her daughter Grace, and I could go out and get our nails and toes done, eat some dinner, do some shopping, and get David's wedding present.

We got back to my house around 9:30 and went to bed shortly afterward. Got up in the morning, left to grab some Starbucks, and sat in Jesse's hair salon for about three hours. We had a good laugh at Grace telling Jesse to stop poking her skull with needles (bobby pins), that she wasn't a pin cushion, and that she could feel them in her brains. We were a tad late getting out of there since the bridal part before us were inconsiderate butt heads, so we raced down to Indy in the pouring rain, Misty driving 70 the whole way. Doing my makeup in the car wasn't so much fun, either, but hey, it got done and that's all that mattered. On the way, I had to hold Misty's veil to the side, which earned me a blister on my elbow from leaning on the center console, and I had to talk her down from bursting into tears when she got a call that her family from Kentucky was stuck outside of Indy because of flooding. Bad stuffs. I guess southern Indiana is in a state of emergency because of all the flooding. It's bad. We've gotten so much rain this year.

So, we got there, I had to go in first to make sure David was away from the door, in my jeans and T-shirt with my hair and makeup done, and Myles didn't even recognize me! Huh?

After we got changed into out dresses and were about the get the show on the road, Kevin (Misty and David's son, the ring bearer) had a fit and wouldn't take the pillow. Misty didn't even care, she just wanted to get married. =) So Kevin ended up hiding under the cake table for half of the ceremony. When he finally came out, Uncle Myles picked him up. Kev then saw the blue-iced cake on the table and started talking about how he didn't want to eat it 'cause he didn't want to turn into a blueberry like "Chocolate Factory". Someone's been watching too much Willy Wonka. Hahaha.

After dinner, we all headed back to Lafayette and went to our favorite bar (well, except for Myles), Cox's. We had a blast. Shots for all and lots of beer and dancing and karoake. It was sooo much fun. And, our hairstlyist/friend, Jesse, was even able to meet us there. Man, we had so much fun. =) Here's a couple of pics. And for the record, the blond guy in the pic with me is Brian, my other best friend Ann's husband and one of Myles's best friends. He also happens to be a really good friend of mine, too. =)

I am sooo happy

I got to talk to my brother yesterday. =) He called me while I was at work and I pretty much said screw work...my brother calling me from Iraq is WAY more important than anything I'm doing here. =) I got to talk to him for about a half hour, and believe it or not, all he really wanted to talk about was my wedding. He's really excited for it, but I think a lot of that is simply because he'll be on leave from the war and he'll get to come home and see his family and his girlfriend. I adore his girlfriend. So, yeah, I was elated yesterday. We talked for about a half hour. Basically, until his phone card ran out and cut him off in the middle of a sentence. It was so great to hear his voice.

Been in a funk

Yeah, I've kind of been in a funk lately, so I haven't been wanting to be very social, and that includes blogging. I'm starting to come out of it a bit, so I'm peeking out of my hole a little bit. ;P My day job has been horrid lately. I won't go into details, but it's just too busy and I've been really stressed. It feels a teeny bit better this week, so I'm hoping it'll continue on the upward trend. =)

Plus, it's looking like my brother won't be coming back for the wedding, as of right now. The Army is telling him that they're going to send the entire unit back at the same time...the beginning of August. No good! So, yeah, I'm pretty bummed about that. I only get to get married once, and I REALLY want my brother there. *sigh*

Okay, maybe I'll post something more joyful later or tomorrow. It ain't gonna happen right now.

Back in the saddle again

Okay, well, maybe not saddle. Maybe more like Humvee. LOL. My bro is officially in Iraq now. I even got my damn flag back out and put it out on the porch yesterday. I'll post a picture of it later, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about. Basically, and I don't know if it was created specifically for the War on Terror, but it's to signify that you have a family member overseas and at war. It's a good thing Myles and I didn't make that shadow box for it yet, I guess. Cuz it's something I want to keep for always, and we were going to put it in a shadow box along with some pics of Doug in uniform and some pics of his medals and such.

Nothing else is going on here. I'm getting antsy for it to get warm out. It feels like it never friggin' will. I'm sick of having to wear a jacket and long sleeves. It's amazing how much it changes... In the fall I'm all sorts of ready to get my sweaters out, and now I just want to put them the hell away. LOL

I'm almost all caught up on edits and submissions, though there is more to do right around the corner. There always is. As soon as I get caught up, my workload explodes again...just like it does at my day job.

And on news about my NY Resolutions, I'm back to eating better. I haven't weighed myself in a few weeks, so I'm not sure if I've lost anything, but I've really been eating pretty good and not binging or starving myself. I have to really watch that, since I've struggled with eating disorders my whole life. And nope, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I don't find anything embarrassing about it and I don't think badly of myself because of it. It's part of me and it's something I've worked long and hard to try and control without being on medication, though it's really difficult at times. Plus, there are so many other people out there who suffer from eating disorders, that maybe me talking about it might click with them and make it easier on them, which is by far the most important thing about it to me. Maybe me sharing can help someone else overcome their demons. That would be a realyl good thing. :)

Saying goodbye is never easy

My brother just called me. He snuck in a few minutes of phone time before he went into a briefing. He was supposed to ship out this morning to Iraq, but he ships out tomorrow night at eleven o'clock. The military usually ships troops out at night. So, yeah, he called to tell me that my mom has his address of where to send stuff and that he loves me. He put in for leave for October 5-20 so that he can be home for the wedding, and told them why he was requesting those days and that he's in the wedding, so hopefully he gets it. But then again, like he said "The Army doesn't give a shit that my sister's getting married." *sigh* He said once he gets over there, he'll really be pushing for it, and it's looking good right now, but anything can change at a moment's notice with the Army. Well, with all military, really. It was hard to see him go last time, and it's hard to see him go this time. I'm sure it's never easy for anyone, no matter how many times someone goes away, especially when they're going away to war. I've just got to pray that God will bring him back home safely and in one peice.

Today pretty much sucks

Considering the fact that I just find out my brother is going back to Iraq. He'll be going to Camp Adeberry to mobilize and then he'll be heading to Kuwait in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to see him before he goes. :( He'll be stationed in Kuwait, doing transport from Kuwait to Baghdad. We won't know how safe his job is until we find out what he's transporting. Last time he was transporting fuel...that's no good. And then he was in a mercenary/assasin squad in Baghdad. Needless to say, he didn't come back the same person from Iraq when he came home from his first tour in July of 2007. Hopefully he doesn't have to do the assasin stuff this time. So, needless to say, I'm in a really crappy mood today. Plus, it's about 3 degrees outside...literally. So that does nothing to put me in a better mood. I'm sick of this cold shit. I don't care about snow, I just hate it when it's this frickin' cold. And anyone who knows anything about Indiana knows how bad that is, since we have all this damn wind. It's miserable this time of year.

Not so good Friday

Last night wasn't so good for me. I had a friend over and we were having a couple of drinks and gabbing when my phone rang at 10PM. Once I looked at my Caller ID and saw that it was my mom, I immediately knew that something was wrong...she doesn't call that late unless it's NYE. So I pick up the phone and her first words out are, "Tera, I don't want you to freak out." Yeah, that's never good. My first thought was plane crash, since I knew my dad was traveling home to South Bend from Dallas yesterday. He had a layover in Cincinnatti and shortly after he got on the play, he passed out. So therefore they had an ambulance waiting on the tarmac when his plane landed to rush him to the hospital. So, needless to say, I was freaking out. But, he's okay. They have no clue what happened to him, but he's okay. I got the full story from him today. Turns out, on the plane, they thought he was having a heart attack. He said he started feeling clammy and sweaty and queasy and was trying to make his way to the bathroom. He ended up passing out in the aisleway and vomiting twice while he was passed out. I didn't know this, but vomiting and stuff the way he was are classic symptoms of a heart attack. So air traffic control gave his plane a priority and a normally 45 minute flight took 20 minutes. But, I talked to him today and he's okay. They tested him for everything under the sun and they have NO CLUE what happened to him, but he's okay now. He said he's got some bruises and stuff from falling and he feels tired, but other than that, he's okay. Regardless, a 45 year old man shouldn't have that happen to him. That's the one thing all the doctor's agreed on. And yes, my father is only 45...they were YOUNG when they had me. =) Hopefully this was the first last and only time something like this happens because I don't need another scare like this one. My daddy has to walk me down the aisle in October, dammit!

I'm really sad now

While I was complaining that it was cold a few minutes ago, I was still in a pretty good mood. Now, I am not. Not at all. My mom just called me at work and told me my brother got a CALL. A call he's been wanting but one that the rest of us have been dreading.

For those of you who don't know this, my brother is in the Army. (It's pretty obvious that I'm proud of him by looking at my blog page) He's classified as a mic88 (I think that's the "technical spelling, pronouced Mike 88), which is transportation. I've talked to other people in the military and when I tell them that Doug is trans, they're like, oh, that's gravy. Until I tell them that he drives the big oil tankers. Yeah. Transporting anything like that in Iraq or Iran right now is one of the most dangerous jobs over there. Anyways, he's already done one tour over there, stayedf over later than his unit and worked on an assasin squad (oh man the stories he can back with! Except, he had to be REALLY drunk to share any of them, still does). He came back in July, safe and sound and all in one piece, though being there has had a HUGE effect on him.

So, getting to the point now, he called and told my mom there there is a transportation unit that's short right now and it looks like he's going to be going again. He may even leave within the week. No good! If he leaves right now, he'll be gone for at least twelve to thirteen months, during which time my wedding just happens to occur. =( He'd only be able to come back if they gave him leave, and they don't always let you come back stateside for your leave. A lot of times they'll send you to Kuwait or Germany instead. So yeah, needless to say, I'm pretty bummed about him going back. That's a year of worrying that I don't want to go through again.

And on another military note, I about flipped when I saw the whole Starbucks thing. I was going to die if I had to give up my Starbucks because they don't support the military. Thank God it was all a big misunderstanding and I was pleased to see a sign on the window about donating coffee to the military when I rolled through the drive-thru this morning. =)

So much for relaxing

So, today I took a day for me, something I really don't do very often. One of my best friends, Misty, behind me in the picture of me, (I'm blessed enough to have two) and I went to lunch and had fajitas and margaritas, then went to the mall to go on a shopping spree at Victoria's Secret. The perfect time since a crapload of stuff is fifty percent off, all my fave pants and purses with goodies in them and all sorts of stuff. And have I mentioned their Beauty Rush lip gloss? I'm obsessed! But anyways, we then headed to get some mani and pedis and I headed home to change to some new comfy cozies. I caught up on a few of my DVR'ed shows, burned a couple of copies of Britney Spears new CD for my neices (yes, Blackout is my new guilty pleasure. I love it!) and headed over to my other best friend's house, Ann, to give the girls the CDs and then play with the littlest one, my Squirt. :) Myles called me while I was on my their and asked me to pick up a couple of things from the store and bring them to him. I ended up feeling guilty about not helping him as much on this one as I have in the past since I've been busy with editing and cleaning the house and getting everthing ready for Hawaii. So I ended up Murphy's Oil soaping all the kitchen cabinets and bathroom cabinets. Then, when I got home, I tore the back of my car apart trying to change the damn turn signal bulb. Cavaliers were made so stupid when it comes to changing lights. Seriously, it's bad. Got too dark and I got frustrated so I'll finish it tomorrow. Nikon, the cat, managed to slip outside and got a mouse...then brought it in the house, so I had to chase her down with that. So, yeah, so much for relaxing. LOL Now I'm editing again. I can't NOT work. Here's a picture I took of my Squirt today wearing her big brother's shirt. =)