A day late and a dollar short

But there's a reason for it. I couldn't really post this before I had watched the show.

Last night, Myles and I sat down and watched the 102 Minutes show on the History Channel. I thought it would be interesting to watch and see footage from a non-news aspect. Wow, it gave me a whole new perspective on things.

I know a lot of people compare the attacks of 9/11 to that of Pearl Harbor. I wholeheartedly do NOT agree. The 9/11 attacks were MUCH worse. When Pearl Harbor happened, they attacked a military post with military people, people who signed up for a job, knowing there was risk such as that attached to said job. It was also a time of war (Yes, I know, we weren't in the war yet, but it was inevitable and everyone pretty much knew it at the time). 9/11 was none of those things. It was during peacetime and it was to everyday, innocent people. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that the people at Pearl Harbor weren't innocent, but I think you know what I mean. The people who lost their lives during 9/11 were non-military people.

Watching that show last night really made me think more about 9/11 and what the people were going through, and I don't think the news has ever really shown that aspect of it. These were people on the streets as it happened, regular people, who were there as it all went down. You are seeing peoples' reactions as the events happened, in real time. You are feeling their panic and terror, and I had a hard time keeping myself from tearing up as I watched part of it.

In one part there are two college girls taping it from their apartment window, before the second plane struck, and one of them notices "things" that are falling faster than the other debris, and she is hit with the epiphany that those are people. In this footage, you can see the people jumping and freefalling, you can see the people on the top floors, above the impact area and fire, hanging flags out the window, leaning out of their broken windows and yelling for help. And you know, these people you are watching, they're all dead now. None of them lived through the collapse.

I think what got to me the most was the reactions and the expressions on the firemens' faces. Many of them are walking toward the building resolutely, scared shitless, some with tears in their eyes, but they are still going willingly. That is such bravery and courage, and I have even more respect for them than I had before, and my respect for them has always been very high up there. You can see the reactions of the firemen as people who have jumped or fallen land on the ground in front of them. And you can see how dazed, confused and utterly helpless they are after the collapses. You can see that they simply didn't know what to do at that point.

I know a lot of people don't like to hear things like what I've said, and they choose not to pay attention to that, but it's important we never forget. This was one of the worst days in the history of our country. Hell, it should be a national holiday like Labor Day and Memorial Day.

And people need to think of the many other American lives that have been lost since then, of our men and women fighting in the middle east, who were dragged into this mess. And yes, it's a mess. I may support our troops, especially since my brother is over there fighting in the Army right now, but the reason we got into this war in the first place has not been dealt with. We should be looking for Bin Laden, he should be dead already. Instead, we went over there because the president wanted to settle Daddy's old score. Saddam is NOT who commited the atrocious acts of 9/11, and the people who did are still out there, still hating America, still planning other ways to "get" us.

I know a lot of people don't agree with what I may have said, and that's okay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and this is mine. It's something I feel strongly about. Like I said, it's okay if you don't agree with me. And no, I don't believe 9/11 was a conspiracy...that is just an absolutely ridiculous notion and has been disproven time and time and time again.

I am sooo happy

I got to talk to my brother yesterday. =) He called me while I was at work and I pretty much said screw work...my brother calling me from Iraq is WAY more important than anything I'm doing here. =) I got to talk to him for about a half hour, and believe it or not, all he really wanted to talk about was my wedding. He's really excited for it, but I think a lot of that is simply because he'll be on leave from the war and he'll get to come home and see his family and his girlfriend. I adore his girlfriend. So, yeah, I was elated yesterday. We talked for about a half hour. Basically, until his phone card ran out and cut him off in the middle of a sentence. It was so great to hear his voice.

Back in the saddle again

Okay, well, maybe not saddle. Maybe more like Humvee. LOL. My bro is officially in Iraq now. I even got my damn flag back out and put it out on the porch yesterday. I'll post a picture of it later, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about. Basically, and I don't know if it was created specifically for the War on Terror, but it's to signify that you have a family member overseas and at war. It's a good thing Myles and I didn't make that shadow box for it yet, I guess. Cuz it's something I want to keep for always, and we were going to put it in a shadow box along with some pics of Doug in uniform and some pics of his medals and such.

Nothing else is going on here. I'm getting antsy for it to get warm out. It feels like it never friggin' will. I'm sick of having to wear a jacket and long sleeves. It's amazing how much it changes... In the fall I'm all sorts of ready to get my sweaters out, and now I just want to put them the hell away. LOL

I'm almost all caught up on edits and submissions, though there is more to do right around the corner. There always is. As soon as I get caught up, my workload explodes again...just like it does at my day job.

And on news about my NY Resolutions, I'm back to eating better. I haven't weighed myself in a few weeks, so I'm not sure if I've lost anything, but I've really been eating pretty good and not binging or starving myself. I have to really watch that, since I've struggled with eating disorders my whole life. And nope, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I don't find anything embarrassing about it and I don't think badly of myself because of it. It's part of me and it's something I've worked long and hard to try and control without being on medication, though it's really difficult at times. Plus, there are so many other people out there who suffer from eating disorders, that maybe me talking about it might click with them and make it easier on them, which is by far the most important thing about it to me. Maybe me sharing can help someone else overcome their demons. That would be a realyl good thing. :)

Today pretty much sucks

Considering the fact that I just find out my brother is going back to Iraq. He'll be going to Camp Adeberry to mobilize and then he'll be heading to Kuwait in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to see him before he goes. :( He'll be stationed in Kuwait, doing transport from Kuwait to Baghdad. We won't know how safe his job is until we find out what he's transporting. Last time he was transporting fuel...that's no good. And then he was in a mercenary/assasin squad in Baghdad. Needless to say, he didn't come back the same person from Iraq when he came home from his first tour in July of 2007. Hopefully he doesn't have to do the assasin stuff this time. So, needless to say, I'm in a really crappy mood today. Plus, it's about 3 degrees outside...literally. So that does nothing to put me in a better mood. I'm sick of this cold shit. I don't care about snow, I just hate it when it's this frickin' cold. And anyone who knows anything about Indiana knows how bad that is, since we have all this damn wind. It's miserable this time of year.

I'm really sad now

While I was complaining that it was cold a few minutes ago, I was still in a pretty good mood. Now, I am not. Not at all. My mom just called me at work and told me my brother got a CALL. A call he's been wanting but one that the rest of us have been dreading.

For those of you who don't know this, my brother is in the Army. (It's pretty obvious that I'm proud of him by looking at my blog page) He's classified as a mic88 (I think that's the "technical spelling, pronouced Mike 88), which is transportation. I've talked to other people in the military and when I tell them that Doug is trans, they're like, oh, that's gravy. Until I tell them that he drives the big oil tankers. Yeah. Transporting anything like that in Iraq or Iran right now is one of the most dangerous jobs over there. Anyways, he's already done one tour over there, stayedf over later than his unit and worked on an assasin squad (oh man the stories he can back with! Except, he had to be REALLY drunk to share any of them, still does). He came back in July, safe and sound and all in one piece, though being there has had a HUGE effect on him.

So, getting to the point now, he called and told my mom there there is a transportation unit that's short right now and it looks like he's going to be going again. He may even leave within the week. No good! If he leaves right now, he'll be gone for at least twelve to thirteen months, during which time my wedding just happens to occur. =( He'd only be able to come back if they gave him leave, and they don't always let you come back stateside for your leave. A lot of times they'll send you to Kuwait or Germany instead. So yeah, needless to say, I'm pretty bummed about him going back. That's a year of worrying that I don't want to go through again.

And on another military note, I about flipped when I saw the whole Starbucks thing. I was going to die if I had to give up my Starbucks because they don't support the military. Thank God it was all a big misunderstanding and I was pleased to see a sign on the window about donating coffee to the military when I rolled through the drive-thru this morning. =)